I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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