Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize