If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
