oh god the rape fog is back!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
