i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
