FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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