This is not my ceiling
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
