It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
All I want is dick and wine.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
