You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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