i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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