Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
