have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
