don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize