my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I forget how to act sober
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
