Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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