She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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