UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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