Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize