My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
