Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
