My entire life is one complicated drinking game
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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