What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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