I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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