I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
