my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize