Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
