we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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