You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
