She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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