dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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