are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He felt like a one man threesome
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
