But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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