it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
