come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
