oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
