it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
