Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
