I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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