I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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