dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize