I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
someone threw a dead crab at me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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