I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Come on in and take your pants off
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