You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
