So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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