Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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