You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
