He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
