do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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