i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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