You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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