respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
