I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
