there's paper in my vomit.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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