new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
