I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
