is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
