I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
