I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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