You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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