Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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