i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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