My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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