what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
