captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
