How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
