Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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