i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
