Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
