I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize