After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.