dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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