She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
