You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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